An Urge to Parents

Yes, to the parents or going to be parents, whoever reading this blog, it is specifically dedicated to them because due to my counselling and training experience I have thought of writing to you as a request.

Heard from many that our parents do not allow us (Children) to try something new, or explore new things in life. They instead try to impose their decision on us, speak something rude or in such a way that we (Children) cannot handle nor understand why we are being treated like that. They behave according to their convenience, like whenever they believe we are still a child they would take decision and throw on our face and otherwise if we have done anything wrong we become old enough to know our responsibilities, due to which our generation gets confused as to what are they, a child or a mature person, and this all comes down to just one thing is that parents ego is not satisfied. They would like to see their children what they have not been able to do or achieve irrespective of what the child wants or wishes to. There are few parents who understand and even support and guide their children but the rest want to stick to their rigid rules and ego. We do not say that you are wrong completely but the way you deal with the scenario is different as what you have suffered or gone through in your generation will not work with people of this generation. We need to have updated tools to tackle our child.

The main factor you lack with your children is trust. There is nothing wrong if your son/ daughter is not settled or married at the age of 30. It is not their fault, it is destined to happen in their lives and so you cannot torture them for career or personal life, as there would be no positive result not they would stay happy, and I am sure no matter what you at least want them to be happy in their lives. We have a set mind that he/ she needs to earn in lakhs and get married and make a family. Everyone has their own skill set and is born with talent which you as a parent need to realise and support them with a vision. Supporting does not mean financially or holding their hand, it means to trust them and make them self-dependent but not paralysed, as you are not going to be with them forever. They need to learn how to take their own decisions and think on what is right and what can be wrong. Give luxuries but teach them to live in every situation. Teach them to be perfect not to compete.

Taking the case of girl child, the tradition is to get her married at a particular age. Why? When boys can marry at the age of 30 why girls cannot? It is her life which is already written by God then who are we to change it? If we force and push them then either they would live unhappy or get separated. Even she has rights to dream and succeed in her life or in her field of work she has chosen. Every girl loves to be herself but just because she is forced, she will do as per you say but trust me, she will not even like talking to you later in life as she would start hating you for her unhappy life. Why would you like to let her suffer and in return get into karma which can never leave you happy either? Do not torture her she is the reincarnation of goddess. I am not asking you to always be by her side but yes at least respect her emotions because she is the one who even after marriage will take care of you unlike boys. Educate her, expand her vision and trust her. Do not lock her in a cage. She too is your child. Do not differentiate.

Educating your thoughts is important rather than getting a degree and working in a reputed company or starting up a business to earn money. Trust them and see what wonders they can do to make you feel proud. Understand each other and live peacefully, because eventually getting angry, being egoistic and taunting will lead to physical and mental illness. Be positive and teach them to be one and look life as an opportunity but not a curse by showing them the wrong path. Most importantly do not compare your child with others, they are yours and every child has their own uniqueness. Live with this fact and learn how to shine them bright instead of pulling them down by comparing. Think practically and behave like mature parents before wanting them to behave like one. Otherwise there would be no difference between you and illiterate people.

When they have you (Parents), why do this generation have counsellors and attend seminars of self-help? Why do they seek motivation from outside? We have no extra power or secret which would help your child, it is just that what they lack is help from their own family and confidence within.  Give them space, listen to them, understand and speak as a friend and not as a parent. Even Shrimad Bhagwad Geeta says situations and time changes make your child that bold to survive in any situation.

They are your own blood. Trust them. This blog is based on my personal experience. It’s not to harm anybody but please take a note if this is the scenario.

Spread happiness and let all of us lead to peaceful nation. It’s an urge to respected parents to understand your child.It’s not the generation gap but it’s the lack of understanding that is what I believe.